Fed-up woman starts shutting down friend who won't stop talking about his ex-girlfriend: ‘Almost every conversation I have with him gets brought back around to him talking about his ex’

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 9, 2025 7:00 AM EST

If anyone here is a big SATC fan, we all know that Carrie just can't get over Big. Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda are as supportive as they can be, but at a certain point, it gets to be too much, and they tell her they can't help her anymore. It's such a relatable conversation because we all have that one friend who just can't get over an ex. After we've tried to comfort them when they were sad, give them the advice we could when they needed it, and even talk about how evil the ex is to bolster them, they still go back to them and can't seem to move on.

At a certain point, you have to learn how to stay out of it and let them live their life. That's the moment that one girl comes to when her friend can't stop talking about his ex, to the point where this girl catches some strays from his comments. So, is it in her right to shut these conversations down? Or does she still have an obligation as this guy's friend to hear him out? Scroll down to see what side you're on.


 

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  • 01
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  • 02
    I (21f) have a friend (22m) who is still very much in love with his ex and talks about her every day, with most of the conversations being about how their relationship was true love of how sad he is that the relationship ended and she cheated on him.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 03
    I did somewhat like this guy at first and maybe I'm just getting a bit salty about the fact he didn't like me back and there's some instances where I've potentially been a bit of an AH about it.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 04
    Some of the potentially AH things I've said are that 99% of people go through failed relationships and breakups in their early 20s and that you can't waste your whole life being sad about it. And I have told him that I'm not qualified to give mental health advice like a therapist would and have said that he only seems to see me as a therapist or someone to vent to and not as a proper friend.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 05
    I know that makes me sound like an AH and maybe I am, but almost every conversation I have with him gets brought back around to him talking about his ex. And he once sent me a meme saying something like "when my phone vibrates and I hope it's the perfect love of my life but it's just that one annoying mf" - with the "perfect love of his life" being the ex and "that one annoying mf" being me.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 06
    AITAH for just shutting those conversations down and not trying to be more supportive? The first time I was supportive about it but after that I admit I haven't really been.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 07

    People jumped to this girl's defense in the comments.

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  • 08
    NTA. Listen, there's a difference between being a supportive friend and being someone's emotional dumping ground. It's one thing if he was venting in the immediate aftermath of the breakup, but if every conversation circles back to his ex, that's exhausting.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 09
    You're not obligated to be his 24/7 therapist, especially when he's making it clear he doesn't value you in the same way.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 10
    You even tried to set boundaries in a reasonable way-telling him you're not a therapist and that he needs to move forward at some point isn't cruel, it's just honest. And that meme? Straight-up disrespectful.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 11

    Time to take out the trash, girlfriend.

    Why would you keep giving your time and energy to someone who literally calls you "that one annoying mf"?
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  • 12
    You're allowed to step back from this. If he's that stuck on his ex, he needs actual therapy, not a friend to rehash the same sad story every day.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 13

    Truer words have never been said.

    ΝΤΑ You're giving perfectly good advice. He refers to you as that annoying mf. He refers to the girl who cheated on him as his true love. Dude's a
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 14
    Not the AH. He wants unlimited free emotional labor. You aren't his therapist.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 15
    NTA - It's understandable to feel bad about being blunt, but your friend is using you as an emotional crutch without considering your feelings. You tried to be supportive at first, but after a while, it's exhausting to listen to the same complaints over and over. Plus, that meme was just straight-up disrespectful. You're not his therapist, and you have every right to set boundaries.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 16
    you aren't his therapist, and he clearly doesn't appreciate your support anyway. It's exhausting to be someone's emotional dumping ground, especially when they're not even trying to move on. Setting boundaries isn't being an AH, it's self-respect.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 17
    NTA. This sounds like a one- sided friendship, with you giving everything and him. giving nothing. It seems like he's in a very negative head space and not able to be a good friend right now, which is really unfair to you.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 18
    NTA. You're his friend, not his free therapist. If he wants to keep wallowing in heartbreak, that's his choice, but you don't have to be his emotional punching bag. Also, that meme? Yikes. If you're the "annoying mf," then maybe he should stop trauma dumping on you.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 19
    NTA It's one thing to support a friend through heartbreak, but it's another to be their emotional dumping ground, especially when he's dismissing your friendship. You've been honest with him, and if he can't respect that, it's okay to distance yourself. A true friendship should be a two-way street, not just you playing therapist.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 20
    NTA - It's understandable that your friend is hurting, but that doesn't mean you're obligated to be his emotional dumping ground, especially when he's not reciprocating genuine friendship. You've been patient, but at some point, he needs to take steps to move on. Plus, that meme he sent was just r de.
    via OfferAppropriate2066
  • 21

    And finally:

    NTA. Tell him to watch Swingers and pay attention to Mikey.
    via OfferAppropriate2066

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friendship drama aita ex girlfriend friends reddit story cheating argument reddit thread Reddit
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